Christmas holidays after separation can be a pressure point for parents – even more so during a global Pandemic.
Working out an arrangement that will work for your children and also works for both parents is no easy task. It’s a good idea to seek advice and support about what options will work for your children and your situation. If you can’t talk directly to your ex-partner, mediation might help you talk through the issues and get to agreement.
When you are thinking about options for dividing the Christmas holidays, think about the arrangements from your child’s point of view.
Ask yourself:
– How many handovers will there be?
– Will there be a lot of travel involved?
– Is there enough downtime built in for the children to get ready for the school year?
– Will they be able to spend quality time with their grandparents, cousins or other extended family?
– Will they be able to enjoy quality time with both parents over Christmas Eve to Boxing Day (if this is important to both families)?
– If sharing Christmas time with both parents isn’t possible or practical, can Christmas time be alternated each year?
If this is the first Christmas holidays following separation, consider how your children usually experience this time of year. What traditions or activities might be important for them to maintain?
Consider that if you’re children are old enough, they might have their own thoughts about how they want to spend the holidays.
Consider the upcoming holidays from the other parent’s point of view. What might be important for them? What traditions or family events would they like to have the children with them for? Can you build in events that are important to both of you and the children?
There is no ‘one size fits all’ approach to parenting arrangements for the Christmas school holidays. Think about your children’s needs over the school holidays, and how you might structure arrangements to meet these needs. If you and your ex-partner do not communicate well, think about how you might minimise the potential for conflict. This might include reducing the number of handovers, or choosing a handover point in a safe, public space. Keeping handovers friendly and calm will benefit both you and your children, and help them get the most out of their time with each of you.
It’s important to get legal advice if you can’t reach agreement with the other parent about the care arrangements for your children. A lawyer can help you consider options for resolving holiday time and longer term parenting arrangements, whether this be attending mediation, or another process.
Mediation is one way to help parents work out holiday arrangements for their children. Mediation is a meeting between separated parents, where you talk through issues and consider options. A mediator helps you both come up with your own agreement, rather than making a decision for you. You can read more about mediation here. For more information about parenting arrangements after separation, click here.
To discuss how mediation might assist you in working out care arrangements for the school holidays, contact Renee Toy here.
